Excuse me while I indulge myself with… myself.  Ha ha ha.  Yeah, to your left is me in a standard mirror self-portrait that is not uncommon to many female-owned Multiply accounts.  It’s only second in popularity to the one-handed self-portrait, which I have never been able to master, hence I will not showcase my attempts at that here.

But please, let me bask in a little self-importance for now.  One of the perks of being in the Editorial Board is that I get to do test shots with different photography studios for our graduation pictures.  Imagine getting all dolled up and whoring in front of professional photographers for free. Teeheehee.   It’s a relief to know that, with a thick layer of well-applied cosmetics, it is possible to capture a decent picture of me.  And I don’t look half-bad.  Ha ha ha.

Oh shit.  You see, whenever the opportunity for me to be all made up and pretty strikes, I suddenly transform into some girly girl.  I go through bouts of vanity, where I obsess over how I look and go wild on the beauty products, then I get tired because it’s way too much work to try to look good everyday for no one’s benefit but mine. Hahaha.  I’m going through that phase again, thanks to the test shots and the Artistry gift pack I received on the opening night of the Philippine Fashion Week.  I’ve been reading up on make-up and even started using the toner and moisturizer that’s been sitting untouched on my bathroom shelf since Christmas.  Haha.  Really, I almost never care about what I look like but I can’t deny the value of taking care of myself and the handsome payoffs it could bring.  Still, like I said, it’s hard to be consistently vain.  Actually I have a hard time being consistent about everything so yeah. Haha.

Oh well.  I guess this is just my way of coping.  I still refuse to think about school and how I lack 3 more units and how those 3 units have to be PI 100.  Among other things.  Lather up!

I was never the poster child for forgiveness.  It’s one of those things I’m really awful at - that, and meaning what I say.  Right now I’m at wit’s end, trying to find it in my heart to forgive three people who have disrespected me greatly.  It’s tough, and I probably cannot do it.  I mean, I think I deserve so much better than that.

Between being busy and being idle, I’d still prefer to be busy. At least there’s always something to look forward to. Being in the edboard of our yearbook has been fun so far. My co-editors are all my friends and I just know we can deliver a really great yearbook.

Haha, okay, another failed attempt at a decent update. There isn’t really much going on, except maybe for my Mandala and Buklod duties, and I bet you wouldn’t want to hear about that. Ugh, I’m not good at this whole blogging thing anymore.

It’s not even the new school year yet, and my decision to accept two executive committee positions is taking its toll already.  Hmf.  Well, at least I’m still feeling a happy kind of stress.  I’m still having fun. No regrets - yet.

I almost forgot about this blog. I feel awful. I had such a wild, eventful school year so I guess I couldn’t talk about it much - for my sake and the sake of a lot of people. But it’s all good. I’m just glad it’s finally over. God, I thought it would stretch on forever.

So to make up for it, here’s what I’ve been up to.

In my attempt to make my senior year more exciting (read: complicated and busy), I ran for two Executive committee positions in two orgs. Yeah. I am now the layout editor of Mandala (Psych yearbook and senior council of sorts), and the publicity head of Buklod CSSP. But to contextualize my victory, I did not have any opponents in both positions, so yeah, it would seem like both positions just fell comfortably on my lap. Hey, at least I didn’t lose to abstain. Haha.

The funny thing about being both layout editor and publicity head is that the job descriptions are pretty much identical - designing layouts and publicity materials. I remember this one night a few weeks ago. I had already won as layout editor and Buklod elections was coming up. For both Mandala and Buklod, I wanted to show the electoral body that I know my Photoshop, so I placed both my General Programs of Action in flashy layouts that I made, and printed it in full color on 7×11 board. So there, that night, as I was cramming my GPOA for Buklod at 3 AM in the morning, I had a mental image of what my life is going to be like next year. Talk about a preview of my senior year - a groggy, sleepless me, glued to my laptop/PC (duh, as if I don’t do that everyday) tinkering with Photoshop, churning out layouts and publicity materials at 3 in the morning.

Gah. I don’t think I’ve ever had this much responsibility in my life. The last time I was ever elected for any officer position was in second grade; my opponent got 14 votes, I got 15 - but that included my vote. Haha. Probably the biggest job I’ve ever had was being junior batch representative (which was offered to me) just this year. But yeah, if there’s one thing I learned, it feels great to be useful to people. Student service may sound really cheesy and all, but it is strangely quite fulfilling, going out of your way for other people and making sure they’re satisfied with your output. Yeah, I like feeling useful. So that is why I decided to run for two positions knowing fully well that I’ll be taking at least 19 units each for my last two semesters in UP. Go me!

But it’s okay. I love my batch a lot, so being in the Mandala Editorial Board is like being batch rep all over again, and I loved being batch rep (most of the time, anyway). I certainly love Buklod CSSP, too. That part is kind of funny, though. A year ago, I swore off campus politics after a very controversial local elections had a lot of people biting my head off. And now, I am affiliated with a political party, and I’m in the Executive committee, too. Huzzah! Initially, I only joined because a good friend of mine asked me to be his campaign manager. Politics just grew on me I guess. I mean, how could it not? The dedication, the late nights, the struggles, the blackmail… it was exciting. But more than that, you gotta hand it to them: what people do in political formations - and it doesn’t matter which one - is pretty amazing. Apart from being the brightest student leaders in UP, the Buklod people are some of the most intelligent and hilarious people I have ever me. I almost regret not joining sooner.

So there, my life so far. The filtered version, anyway. If you know where my Livejournal, Multiply and Tumblr accounts are, you can check that out. There’s more dirt on me there. Haha.

Just give me a moment to reorient myself.

Fireworks and bubbles - these are a few of my favorite things.

Yesterday at the UP Centennial Kick-Off Parade, my friend brought a bottle of bubbles (the one that come in a plastic bottle, a certified hit with little kids like us) with her.  My orgmates and I were so amused that we scoured the stalls along the Acad Oval for bubbles.  Eventually we found some in the Everything for Php 10 stall for 10 bucks a pop.  Sweet.  We were blowing bubbles at the paraders.  Haha.

Then we watched the concert, which was admittedly not very riveting.  So we were back to blowing bubbles to pass the time (and I think we amused the people around us, too).  But the fireworks, oh god the fireworks!  There was even a heart-shaped one.  Aww.

A night of fireworks and bubbles on damp grass under a starless sky with my favorite people.  I love it.  If that was just the kick-off, I wonder what else is in store for the UP Centennial celebration.  More fireworks, I hope.

On a slightly related note: I can’t wait for the World Pyro Olympics.  My friends and I agreed we’d watch it on March 1.

EDIT: An orgmate of mine took great pictures of the fireworks last night.  See them here.

My one and only resolution of 2008: Keep the big things and let go of the small ones. -

I’m very, very sentimental. I collect physical traces of my memories, like pictures, Starbucks cups, napkins and receipts. Even SMS messages - my cellphone inbox is full of old text messages that I can’t bear to delete. If I absolutely have to get rid of them, for the sake of incoming ones, I write them down first. I have pretty sharp memory, but still, I want to remember everything - down to the nittiest and grittiest detail. But if there’s one thing I learned in 2007, it’s that not everything is worth remembering. That’s what short-term memory is for. It’s fun to look back at them, but soon enough these things won’t matter anymore, so there’s no point to holding onto them.  Leave the past where it belongs.  Besides, that’ll just take up the space that newer experiences should be occupying.

There are just some things you have to let go.

For the past 48 hours I’ve been downloading some songs by indie bands - I think I’ve reached about 50 now .  Weirdly enough for someone who sings, I’m not really into music.  So in these rare bouts of musical indulgence, I take my choices in music very seriously.  I make an effort to research on good songs by indie/alternative band, usually by checking out the soundtracks and incidental background songs of my favorite shows (like Veronica Mars and The O.C.) and stalking the Music pages of my Multiply friends for songs and bands they recommend.  My latest loves are Pinback, Artic Monkeys, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, OK Go and The Perishers (okay, so maybe they’ve all been around for a while, but I only started listening to them lately. Haha).

Guess how bored I am?  I’m actually tempted to study for Bio. Haha.  It’s a personal rule of mine to ignore schoolwork til after Christmas.  Haha.  At least I have new songs to listen to to keep my brain from atrophying.

This week, I allowed myself to be sad. I allowed myself to cry even if I couldn’t afford to break down, what with all the schoolwork I had to finish. Sheesh. I don’t think I’ve ever cried that much in my recent life history. Every time I felt like I’ve cried my eyes raw, the tears come back. But I knew I couldn’t stay sad for very long, especially with the friends I have. There’s only so much negativity I can take; you have to get tired of being miserable sometime. I forced myself to be happy, and I’m glad it worked. I don’t want to waste my time being sad when I could be enjoying moments with the people that still matter.

I think it was a good choice to feel too much all at once.  All I needed was a week to be sad.  Now I’m okay.  I’ll use this break to recharge and get back on track.