What sembreak?

Hahaha.
I will be back when the madness is over.  Tentatively, that’s on the 21st.  It was a great sem! It deserves a better blog entry than this blurb.

It’s 3:12 AM, I can’t sleep.  This is the latest I’ve stayed up in a long time.

Anyway, my hell-est week is pretty much over. It’s a long weekend for the Quezon City kids, and I’m looking forward to a nice random spontaneous trip with some of my friends tomorrow.

It’s only half-way through the semester and a lot of ridiculous shit has happened already. Only about a year ago I would never have thought life would turn out like this.  Emo, but true.   Call it late onset but I’ve never felt more like a Psych major than I am now.  Awkward sentence, but yeah.  What they say about Psych majors being crazy isn’t true; we’re just as abnormal as everybody else.  But now I can see the reason behind that heuristic.  Everything about life is psychology.  Psychological theories can be applied anywhere.  Our subject matter surrounds us every day.  Basically, there is no escape from what we study on a daily.  Life will always be one big Psychology lesson.

I should sleep now.

So the stress kicks in. Frazzled. Oi.

I have never known myself to have regrets.  No matter how stupid my decisions seem in hindsight, I will always go back to that point in time when that decision felt right.

So even if this decision kills me, even if it is stupid, I know it is the right one to make as of this moment, because I don’t see any other way around it.  I do not care if you judge me.  At this very point in time, this is what feels right, and even if I know I won’t always feel the same, right now, it is the right thing to do, the only thing I can do.  And I definitely won’t regret it.

EDIT: Daming typo. Sorry! Hinabol ko yung 12mn deadline ng July 19 hehe.

This is the very first picture of me with one of my good friends, Meg. It was taken exactly 3 years ago, on our very first movie on July 19, 2005. As you can see, I still had braces and green eyes, and that was many pounds ago for the both of us. Haha. It was our first year, first semester in UP, and we were classmates in Ma’am Chei’s Soc Sci 1 class. I was still living in Katipunan then, and she lived (and still lives) in a condo there. So on that fateful day 3 years ago, I asked Meg to watch a movie with me in Gateway (it had just opened, it was the Trinoma of our day) because I was upset. So we took the LRT2 to Gateway. The picture here was taken before it started. We watched “Campus Ghost Stories”, which is the most repulsive horror movie I’ve ever seen in my life. But I had fun, and it was a start of a string of movie dates (back in a time where we actually had the time to watch movies. oh freshmen days :c) and one of the most important friendships I’ve ever made.

A few days ago, a friend of mine asked me: if I could have one friend in college that I consider my closest, the kind that really defined my UP life, who would that person be? I told her that I didn’t have any, because I don’t really compartmentalize my closest friends. I don’t have a best friend because I don’t think I need one. Sure, it makes it difficult to think up of someone to write under “Personal References”, but that’s just the way it is. I feel I can trust all my friends with my life anyway. I won’t deny that I don’t treat my friends equally, but that’s just because they all mean something different to me. I don’t define my friendships in terms of disclosure, or of the secrets we share, or of how much they know about me, or of the amount of time we spend with each other. It’s about (and it gets cheesy from here on) the comfort it brings to me knowing that I can be honest with myself when I am with them. And I know that I couldn’t be more honest when I am with Meg. Perhaps too honest at times. Hehe.

So yeah, Meg is the closest thing I have to what my friend asked me. She is my first UP friend. Even with the many things that have happened in the last 3 years, it amazes me that she’s still here. I feel so lucky because I know a lot of people don’t have that. I find it hard to cope when I’m in a large group of people if Meg is not there. She’s like my security blanket, my lucky charm. Few friendships change me the way this one has, and I am glad that from this one blossomed even more lovely friendships.

I don’t think I’ve ever told you just how much you mean to me. I hope you know how important you are to me, Meg! I hope you’ll always be here for the rest of the July 19s of our natural life. Sorry this isn’t such a mushy tribute because I’ve got 135 to worry about. But I’ll have you know that I’ll always love you. I don’t think there’s anything big enough that could come between us that will make me change the way I feel about this friendship.

I need to lose 5 pounds in 1 month in time for graduation picture season. That doesn’t sound so tough now does it? That is, unless you’re like me and you don’t have the concept of discipline. Haha.

Damn it! Must lose weight. Especially since I plan on posing as a Hooters girl for my creative shot. Haha.

I’m currently hating readings more than anything else in the world.  Unfortunately for me all of my subjects this sem are readings-heavy.  I usually get away with ignoring the required readings until it is exam crunch time, but it’s so tedious cramming all of it in one go. So this year I thought I’d do myself a favor and read the required readings for every meeting, to lessen the anxiety when exams are near.  I mean, if I have to give up a part of my allowance to have reams of paper photocopied in the name of learning and education, I might as well let it serve its purpose.

But my attention span just won’t cooperate.  Hay.

Two weeks pa lang ba talaga?  I was such a bitch all week.  There’s regret all over here.

Happy 100th Birthday to the University of the Philippines!

Surprisingly, my Foundation Day wasn’t as festive and eventful as I hoped it would be. The profs in my two classes called off classes, so in effect my friends and I literally went to school just to hang out. And nothing stood out more today than the fact that it was unbelievably scorching hot. Haha. But that didn’t stop me and a friend of mine from joining in whatever festivities there were. Congratulations to everyone who will receive the 20k Centennial bonus, and good luck to the Vinzons UPGrade (btw I helped pick out the name of that project hehe) project of the University Student Council.

There should be more days like these. Haha. I’m all for hanging out.

My last first day of (mandatory) school went better than expected… Not that I normally expect that anything spectacular would happen on first days.  But a lot of spectacular things did happen - unexpectedly.  Haha yeah, I’m being redundant.

Yesterday was also the birthday of one of my closest college friends.  Happy Birthday, Meg!  I love how my schedule and my classes provides a lot of time for me to spend with my friends.  I’m really going to go all out on them this year, since it will never be the same after.  For someone who is bad at making and keeping friends, what a feat it is that the friends I have now are the friends I had in the beginning, four years and many pounds ago.

I wonder if I should be doing school work now.  Like advanced reading or something.

What a fun, that summer was. Haha. But before I tell you all about it, I just want you all to know that I’m now part of the cute Plurk world. Yay add me.

So anyway.  It’s easier to talk about my summer using numbers.

Over the course of two months, I managed to have a lot of twos and a coupla fours:

2 - embarrassing  but fucking hilarious videos taken of me.  One was when I rode the Ultimate Bungy in Singapore with a friend, and the other was me receiving “exorcism rites” in a party.  Haha.  Damn, that’s what memories are made of.

2 - heart-warming one-on-one conversations with two friends.  Yeah, I like talking about my feelings and I’m fortunate to have friends who care.  One was just outside a street food stall on a rainy day.  The other was in Starbucks, and we had beer afterwards. Haha.

2 - different sets of friends, 2 absofuckinglutely awesome parties in one night.

4 - dates.  Two went really well, two went really bad.  Haha.

4 - movie dates with friends in a span of one month.  That’s more movies than I ever watched my whole entire junior year. Haha.

4 - bloggers’ events attended.  Yeah.  I’m not anti-social anymore haha.

That’s as much as I’m willing to tell you. It was my last undergrad summer well-spent.  I got to share it with the people in my life, but it was mostly about me.
Crap.  I don’t even want to think that it’s my last year in UP.