I already have most of my grades for the semester (We had our Math finals just yesterday and my prof had our standings ready by this morning. He has nothing better to do. Haha. Peace tayo, Sir :P). To my surprise, I actually got good grades! I’m actually going to get a 1.something in Math! And the chances are high that I won’t get a grade lower than 1.75! Now that’s a first for me.

My Psych 118 grade is the only one I’m waiting for. When I get that, I’ll release some of our research results to those who requested it.

That was one hell of a semester. Good God!

So, it’s sembreak. What now?

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Three more papers and an exam to go. I don’t know how I’m going to manage in the next 5 days. I swear to God, I won’t allow my remaining semesters to go on like this anymore.

In spite of that, this sem still had its fair share of stellar moments. And those few good times were really good.

I’m not sure when it was that I started to feel this way, but I’m glad I noticed this one good thing right away.

I’m so fucking sick of Field Research.

But I still love my classmates to death.

I’m going to miss them.

I love these pictures.

I don’t have a whole lot of friends, but the friends I am close to mean the world to me. I love them to death. Even when I’m busy, I still manage to squeeze in a few minutes of my time to help them out when they need me. If I have to, I drop whatever I’m doing just to do them a favor. I try to be as dependable as I can possibly be, and I hope I’m doing a good job at it.

Another thing about me is my friends’ moods affect mine. When my friends are sad, I’m sad too. And yet another thing is I can’t seem to be straightforward with my friends when they do something I don’t like.

Finally (and this is probably the most emotionally taxing thing I do), I am very very patient with my friends. Even when I am pushed to my limits, I don’t give up on friendships that easily, no matter how difficult it gets.

But lately, I’ve been at wits end trying to figure out whether my approach is the right way to handle friendships. While I don’t expect anything in return, it hurts a lot when my friends don’t seem to see how much I care for them. Maybe I just suck ass at maintaining relationships, but right now I’m definitely not happy with the way things are going. And it makes me want to give up on everything - and everyone.

I spent my twentieth birthday doing exactly what I thought I would be doing today - fretting over my academics.

Just so I could have some semblance of a birthday celebration, I brought two dozen Krispy Kreme donuts for my friends yesterday, and ate a hearty lunch at Chateau Verde with my life partners (118 groupmates), Renz and Racine. Since I thought I wouldn’t see any of my friends on my birthday itself, I decided to celebrate it with them a day early. Turns out I had to go to school today anyway - consultation for our 118 proposal that needs to be revised for the nth time.

I knew it. I knew I’d be dealing with my major on my birthday. Whee.

So I ended up having a sort-of birthday lunch with the life partners again. We all shared a slice of blueberry cheesecake for dessert. Renz even stuck a makeshift candle on it - a toothpick with a strip of tissue on one end - for me to blow. Aww. Yay!

That’s pretty much it. Today was just so stressing that it didn’t feel like my birthday at all. Still, I’m so touched that quite a lot of people remembered my birthday. I don’t know about you, but being greeted a Happy Birthday is really heartwarming, especially when it’s from old friends or people you wouldn’t expect. Thank you to everyone who greeted via text, Yahoo!, email, my blogs etc. It means a lot.

Ok, back to work!

Okay, the reason why I rarely update this blog anymore is that lately, my life’s been revolving around Psych 118 (Field Methods in Psychology). Nowadays I hardly ever do anything that’s not related to it. Not even “Egay” could come between me, my groupmates, and the paper we had to finish by tomorrow. The load and the sleepless nights have gotten me so worked up that I lost 5 pounds in a week - the same 5 pounds I tried to lose all semester last year. So I thought I’d spare you all from my academic angst, because you’d hate to read what I have to say when I’m as tired as I am right now.

Luckily, my groupmates and I finished our research proposal today, and we’re submitting it tomorrow. I won’t have to worry about 118 for another… 3 days or so.

In spite of all the bitching I do, I actually enjoy 118, and mainly because I have great groupmates. Sure, sometimes you get sick of being with the same people every damn day, but I just gotta love these two for making even the most stressful things fun. It’s still too early to get all mushy, though. We’ve gone through hell and back already but the semester’s only halfway done. The real work has yet to start. Once the proposal approved, the real psychological research begins. But so far, so good. The pain is not only shared, but halved. Into three. Ha ha ha. I love them.

And because our research is about blogging, it’s only fitting that we’d create a group blog! Hahaha. We even combined our names to symbolize how fricking united we are:

Marenzcine Andadiego!

Mar(ielle)(R)enz(Ra)cine An(geles)Dad(o)(Man)iego

Cool, huh?

So this will probably be the last time I’m mentioning 118 in this blog. From now on, the three of us will be chronicling our field research ups and downs in our group blog. Everything - from the triumphs to the suicidal tendencies - will be there.

Oh, comments really lift our spirits. So when you drop by, don’t forget to say hi.

It was hard, watching a friend’s struggle to distract himself after breaking up with his girlfriend.

We were right outside our classroom, waiting for the class before us to leave.  When they were dismissed, a girl rushed out of the room and right into the arms of this guy waiting by the door. Her boyfriend, apparently.

They kissed.  We watched.

My friend and I looked at each other and burst out laughing.  A little nervously, in fact.

“That’s sad.” he said, shaking his head.

‘Tis.

—

Heart break is just awful, isn’t it? There’s no way around it, but with time.  Yet, even then, one cannot tell how long it will take.

No matter how utterly exhausted I was all week, now that it’s all over I still can’t bring myself to wake up any later than 6:30 AM. For the last five days I’ve been doing a lot of walking, talking, and thinking. School hasn’t even started yet but I’m tired already, in every which way. And yet I’m not sure if there are any pressing matters to be so stressed about. I guess I just have this uncanny ability of creating a big thing out of nothing, to generate my own headaches. I am glad, though, that the people I work with are there to make me feel better. It was a treat getting to know each other, in every aspect of our lives if you know what I’m saying. This week will really do a lot for our projects and plans, considering we’re stuck with each other for the next 10 months or so.

Case in point, I had fun braving the streets of Divisoria with four of them yesterday. That far-flung place is a wonderful treasure cove for random things, and for cheap, too. I wish I had more time to shop for clothes, though. Retail therapy works wonders for me, ha ha.

My feet were aching and I was all sweaty and awful after that, but I still managed to go to a small get-together over at a friend’s house. We sat by the poolside, although we couldn’t swim since the chlorine was still fresh. To amuse ourselves, apart from the normal booze, food and terribly funny jokes courtesy of a friend’s cellphone, we doused a few passing centipedes and ants with isopropyl alcohol, and set them on fire, flambee-style. Too bad I was too tired to really enjoy the whole affair (if I recall right, the first thing I did when I got there was sleep on the guestroom’s bed).

Wah. What a random entry. I think I will take a nap now. I ought to get started on the next batch of publicity materials.

People are like Google - we all like fresh content.

Ha, weak analogy, I know. Blame my mom, she was the one who told me that fun fact.

But seriously. It’s human nature to be fascinated by new things. We like things better when they’re fresh off their packaging, all sparkle-y and shiny.

But when the novelty is gone, we lose interest. Then we start taking the old things for granted. Because once the dust settles, we tire of the same old things.

And the same old people.

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Tags: Baguio, Camp John Hay, Philippines, summer, friends

I haven’t been feeling very bright and cheerful lately. That’s not to say I’m a bright and cheerful person to begin with, but you get the point. I’ve had happier days. Partly because all this free time doing absolutely nothing but school work is getting to me, partly because I was snubbed by my crush (see entry below), partly because it’s so hot and my air conditioner doesn’t condition the air properly, and mostly because I can’t find a torrent of The Tudors Episode 5. Okay, maybe I exaggerated on the last one a bit.

So until I can blog about something with more substance, allow me to incriminate myself by showing you an animated GIF of me and my friends playing with our friend’s camera’s multi-burst function.

Kat, Chesca, Me and Meg
Taken in Camp John Hay, Baguio City
April 2007

We’re not always like this. Honest!

EDIT: Oh, and I have a video podcast in the works.