Wild Sem! What a Drama Queen!
Friday, 19 of October , 2007 @ 9:18 am
I already have most of my grades for the semester (We had our Math finals just yesterday and my prof had our standings ready by this morning. He has nothing better to do. Haha. Peace tayo, Sir :P). To my surprise, I actually got good grades! I’m actually going to get a 1.something in Math! And the chances are high that I won’t get a grade lower than 1.75! Now that’s a first for me.
My Psych 118 grade is the only one I’m waiting for. When I get that, I’ll release some of our research results to those who requested it.
That was one hell of a semester. Good God!
So, it’s sembreak. What now?
I’m such a drama queen. Yesterday, right after turning in my Math blue book, I cried. Really hard. Partly because I thought a friend cancelled my call (she didn’t, apparently her phone lost battery), but mostly because I realized that the sem is finally over. So while waiting for my friends to finish their exam, I went to the nearest restroom, locked myself in the nearest cubicle and cried there. Can’t get any emo-er than that.
My friends had their own gimmick to celebrate the end of the semester, which added to my depression because I had no one to hang out with. So I announced that I was going home, and walked away without saying good bye. When they were out of sight and earshot, I started sobbing uncontrollably. I figured I’d die if I didn’t talk to someone ASAP, so I called up a friend and asked if I could come over. Then I went to her house and unleashed more of my drama queen powers whilst telling her the real reason why I’m upset that this sem is over. Then we went to Red Ribbon where I bought her banoffee pie to thank her for hearing me out.
Let’s just say that I’ve grown so accustomed to the sights, sounds, smells, feel and tastes of this semester that I can’t fathom going through the rest of my college sems without them. My classmates were my only social life. Writing papers til the break of dawn was my only night life. And yet, I grew emotionally attached to the whole experience. It’s been a while since I’ve become so emotionally attached to anything, and I don’t like this feeling at all.
For the first time in months, my cell phone is quiet. No one’s texting me to meet up at this time to do this and that. Nothing to look forward to anymore. And I looked forward to everything - every single moment during the previous sem, even the most stressful and heated ones.
In short, I feel very lonely. I’ve tried asking my friends if they’d want to go out, but they all declined, or have other plans that don’t include me. Am I hurt? Very. But can I blame them? No. But I won’t deny that I’m feeling like a big reject.
It’s my fault, really. I am too clingy, and I set too many expectations. I’m also rehashing my old habits, therefore making the same mistakes all over again. I promise. Next semester is going to be different.
The smell of coffee, cigarettes and Eternity, the taste of banoffee pie, the sound of horrid pop songs playing over and over and over again are all filling my head… god, make it stop.
If you’re reading this line, my god, you really read through all that emoshit? Haha. Thanks.
Category: College, Friends, Love, Rants
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Marielle is a 20-year-old Psychology student at the 
